Chapter 6: Homecoming
It felt like a dream.
Peace. A gentle breath in, then out.
Silence. Each thought hushed from a scream to a whisper; my mind was filled with bliss.
Tranquility. My muscles sagged; an involuntary response, but a welcome reprieve.
Absolute, euphoric calm… Calm… Calm…
For the past however many minutes, I’d been engrossed by those all-encompassing sensations. Junior’s powers were extremely effective at stabilizing my mind now that I’d finally let him breach whatever mental defenses I’d previously been putting up; whether it be because his consistent probing over the past half-day had shattered said mental shields that’d been resisting his full influence, or because I’d simply become so emotionally spent that he was finally able to push just that extra bit further in, my mind was now his playground. I’d resigned myself to lying motionless while he soothed every neuron, the heat of his horn poking my cheek as he lay focused, unwavering in his self-appointed mission to rid my headspace of the past day’s turmoil. Each moment of fear, each moment of anger, sadness, and abject misery was being slowly, yet gently, dissolved into the void. I felt inebriated by the calm; if this were a drug, I might become an addict.
Rhys… The odd conglomerate of sounds that made up Junior’s voice spoke softly to my mind using the one word he knew, followed by his distinct feeling of concern: Okay?
I felt a reply form in my throat yet I couldn’t seem to verbalize it, a garbled mutter emerging from my mouth in its place. Everything felt so relaxed, so numbingly calm that I didn’t want to move. I’d asked him to do this, too; my initial invitation, which took the form of a gentle and welcoming thought, was a deliberate attempt to coax his mind into working more of the magic that had finally brought me relief. It might’ve been selfish of me, but he had been trying to help me all day, and my staunch wall of anxiety hadn’t wavered until he’d managed to breach a crack during my episode of shame. Why not give him what he wanted? What little thoughts remained in my head began fading further as I sunk deeper into the silence. I need this, too… I’ve NEEDED this…
Rhys!!
The calm felt like it’d been sucked out with a vacuum, my senses violently returning with explosive vigor. My eyelids ceased their fluttering; the numbness in my limbs faded; the blurry sight of Junior’s worried eyes peering down at me from atop my chest startled me fully out of my stupor and back into reality.
“Whuh…” I gently rubbed my eyes, my foggy vision clearing up. “What’s wrong, Junior?”
Worried… he put his hands to his mouth while tears pooled in his eyes. Scared… Quiet…
His final emotion confused me; it felt like he thought I was… disappearing, somehow? What did that even mean? Was I really that far gone?
“W-wait,” I stammered and sat up quickly. “Did you feel something wrong with me?” The fire that’d been quelled within me slowly ignited as fear filled my chest. When I felt myself slipping away, what was happening?
Scary… Junior stood up from my lap and shuddered, pointing at my face, Quiet…
“My mind was… quiet?” I tapped a finger to my temple.
Junior nodded profusely and shot toward my chest, attempting to wrap me in as big of a hug as he could. Thankful! I gently returned the embrace, patting the still trembling Ralts whose thoughts seemed to gently whisper thanks and love.
“I’m… I’m okay now, Junior,” I propped his chin up so he’d see the look of honesty on my face. “I swear I am.” I reached to my side and picked up my phone. “How long was I like that…?”
11:30. It’d been hours.
“HUH?” How was that possible?! I swiped down on my screen to check if I’d missed anything. “What if Mom or Harrison texted me?! What if I missed—“
Nothing. Not even one of those annoying spam texts telling me I’d won a Clefairy doll from a fake giveaway. I pinched my forehead in annoyance; “Why am I even panicking? Nothing is happening as-fucking-usual.” I felt strangely rational all of a sudden like the layer of fog that usually clouded my judgment had finally lifted for once. The only problem is that now I felt angry at myself for even starting to spiral.
I briefly looked out the window; the sun had risen higher and a few scattered, puffy clouds dotted the sky. I took a deep breath and composed myself. I was okay. I was A-OK.
“… Now what?”
I blinked in confusion. This felt… foreign. Now that I wasn’t worried for no good reason, I struggled to think of something, anything, that I could do to pass the time while I waited for Mom to come back. Getting out of bed obviously wasn’t an option, but I’d spent more than my fair share of days lying here like a Slakoth, browsing the internet and absorbing as much information about Pokémon as I could; but now, that anxious drive wasn’t urging me onward.
Junior tapped my arm for attention. Rhys? Rhys?
“Woah, oookay,” I jolted at the sound of the weird voice in my head. Junior looked at me timidly, his hands pressed over his mouth as if he was worried he’d startled me too badly.
“No—you’re fine!” I rubbed the back of my head and laughed. “It’s just… how are you doing that already? I thought I’d have to like—run you through a thesaurus for weeks!”
Junior shrugged his shoulders. Bewilderment… He pondered for another moment. Natural?
“So the word just… came to you?” I tapped the side of his head. “Like your brain just kinda realized how to say my name?”
A shy nod of approval. Confusion… Bashful…
A myriad of theories raced through my mind: maybe he’d heard others say it so much that he’d naturally picked it up. But what was with that weird, choppy voice he had? Why’d it sound like my vocal tone was mixed with the shrillness of his? Maybe he’d absorbed my name from my mind? But why not any other words? This was all too weird; my brain desperately wanted to understand, but how could I ever have prepared to decipher something like this?
Okay? Junior probed my thoughts and grabbed my right hand. Worried…
“Y’know what?” I sighed and shrugged. “I shouldn’t even ask. You’re probably just as confused as I am…” After all, Junior was only around a month old. It didn’t seem like he had a good grasp of his own abilities yet, much less the ability to explain how his telepathic prowess worked to an obsessive overthinker. “I won’t make you do that again.”
Content. Junior nodded; his emotions quickly pivoted, forceful hand pats dotting my hand in affirmation. Curious? Okay!!
“You think it’s okay that I’m curious?” I gave him a tired yet kind look. “He really cares too much… huh?”
He smiled and floated toward my shoulder. He plopped himself down a bit too fast, teetering back and forth while flapping his arms and letting out tiny shouts of shock as he wobbled.
“Are you okay?” I snickered at his bungle. “Looks like someone’s still a little sleepy!”
Bashful!! His hands flew onto his face and his cheeks flushed. I ruffled his messy hair to let him know I was only teasing; I bet he could already tell, but it didn’t hurt to let him know!
“Hey,” I gently lifted one of Junior’s hands off his face and brushed it. “Where’d your bandage go? Wow… your bruise has already dulled that much?”
Junior shrugged. Uncertain. I guess it’d fallen off while he was sleeping and gotten lost in my blanket. It was amazing how quickly he’d healed, though. Maybe being around positivity accelerated his recovery too?
My mind quickly wandered back to the sound of Junior’s voice in my head. I still had so many questions about its intricacies! The jumbled, patched-together cadences; a copy of my voice brokenly blanketing the cacophonic cry; not to mention the state of ultra-calm I’d let him put me into! AND the dreams?! It was all too intriguing to ignore, and my mind eagerly coveted answers.
I picked up my phone from my lap, noting the lack of urgency of the nature of my search as I opened a browser tab. Usually, I’d feverishly scribble down notes with pen and paper or in my notes app, but the urge to do so was still strangely absent; in fact, my anxiety was strangely low. All I wanted—without irrational fear driving me mad—was to know. “It’s so weird feeling THIS normal…”
Curiosity… Calm?
Oh, right. Junior felt every thought of mine whether calm or still. I shot a feeling of assurance back at him, or at least I tried to; all I could do was think “Hey, I’m locking in. If my brain feels all over the place, don’t worry too much!” and hope he got the memo. Luckily, it sure felt like he did, as the tinge of worry underlying his message was quickly replaced with a warm contentment, then faded away.
“Alright. How do I sum this all up?” My finger hovered over the search bar for a moment; then, a sudden idea.
“Effects of Psychic-types on the Human mind,” I typed. Hopefully that’d garner some results—
A stream of articles popped onto my screen, each citing the same ultra-famous, “charismatic” scientist that was searching for all those answers and more.
“Dad…!” My hand met my forehead with a loud smack, startling Junior. I felt like an idiot for not expecting this; cognitive science was Dad’s forte after all. The dude was practically a walking encyclopedia! If I really wanted to, I could easily give him a call and ask. It would probably save me the hassle of combing the internet for answers that I probably wouldn’t find.
But… did he even know about Junior? Or my leg? Mom had to have told him, right? And if so, what did he think of my recklessness? The man was as indecipherable as his research; he could be clear, kind, and earnest in one moment, then quickly hit you with a cold, almost mechanical practicality that made you question whether or not whatever you’d asked was worth answering. I wasn’t a regular victim of his lectures since he was barely around, but now that I’d reached trainer age, I feared his judgment more than ever. He knew I was smart like him; what would he think about such a dumb decision?
Steady, deep breaths. This was where I’d spiral into inaction, yet my thoughts felt so strangely still. I opened up our message log; our last conversation, if you could even call a one-way string of my messages that, was weeks ago, but that didn’t matter now. Even if he didn’t reply as usual, what did I have to lose? “Just… ask!”
“Hey Dad, it’s been a while huh? I hope you’re doing well. Just had a quick question for you: Would you happen to have any knowledge about the Pokémon Ralts? I can’t find much info on it and I’ve been curious. Hopefully I’m not bugging you, and thanks!”
The message was delivered in an instant. Whew! It might’ve read a little awkward, and I might’ve left out a bunch of details, but it should’ve been enticing enough! Plus, my phrasing shouldn’t raise any concern, and it wasn’t technically a lie! Hopefully, Dad wouldn’t read into it too deeply; as analytical as he approached life, social skills weren’t exactly his strong suit, so a delayed, deadpan reply was way more than likely. As much as I resented it, maybe that was a good thing; I could get the info I needed and then enact some payback with a cold shoulder of my own.
Happy… Happy!
“Hm?” I murmured. Junior had sat himself on the far edge of my bed facing the window, gently rocking his head from side to side while kicking his legs gleefully. Happy!
What was he so happy about all of a sudden? My relief couldn’t have been too jubilating! I scooted down the bed and met him at the edge, wrestling my blanket off my splinted knee while perilously avoiding my instinct to bend it. “What’s up?”
Junior looked up at me and open-mouth smiled. Ha-ppy! His emotions skipped joyfully like a kid playing hopscotch, their strength prompting a smile to form on my face as well. He looked back toward the window and continued to jubilate; something out there was totally psyching him up. I couldn’t really stand up and look down at the front pathway though, unless I was really looking forward to getting intimate with the floor.
All of a sudden, the sounds of faint chatter rose from beneath the windowsill, growing closer and closer as each second passed; I could swear they sounded like—
KaTHUNK!
Windchimes rattled as the sound of the front door slamming into the wall boomed through the floorboards. Laughter and muffled apologies shortly followed, each voice engaged in what sounded like a pleasant conversation.
Junior let out a cute, shrill cry. Ha-ppy Ha-ppy!
“No wonder he’s all pumped up…” My heart skipped a beat as the cheerful male voice moved across the floor toward where the stairs were. I swallowed the lump in my throat. “He’s here already?!”
Sounds of thumping charged up the stairs. There was a brief moment of silence, then a set of rapid knocks on my door.
Junior zipped over to the other side of the bed. Happy!!
“Hey, Rhys?! Can I come in?”
I closed my eyes for a moment and let Junior’s joy wash over me. I was going to be okay; I had to be.
“Uh—“ I scooted backward and swung my legs around to face the door, sliding my phone back into my pocket right after. “You may!”
The door swung open; my bruised-legged, messy-haired friend stumbled into the room unabashedly. His scuffed orange jacket was still slightly wet, tiny drops of water dotting the door as he regained his balance against it. He cracked a wide, sheepish grin as he propped himself up.
“… Sorry!” he awkwardly laughed, cringing as he wiped drops of water off the wood.
“Didja really have to barge in like that?” I snorted, failing to hold in my laughter.
“Well—I was excited, duh!” he smiled and stuttered impetuously, setting his backpack down next to the door and then closing it behind him. Junior started hopping up and down with glee; his joy was so palpable that I could feel the tiniest sliver of a headache beginning to form. I flinched at the tinge of pain, wondering if Harrison could feel even a shred of this too.
His attention quickly darted toward Junior. “Hey there lil guy!” he ran over to the bed and exclaimed. “Nice to meet ya!” He began to pick Junior up, then froze, shooting me a curious glance. “Do you mind if I…?”
“No no,” I assuredly waved at him with one hand, the other massaging my right temple. “Go ahead! I think he’s happy to meet you too!”
With a gleeful grin, Harrison lifted Junior in the air by the waist. “You’re sooooo cute!” he exclaimed. “Byte’s gonna be so psyched to meet you—whaaa?! You’ve even got eyes under there?! How do you see under these bangs?” He lifted Junior’s hair while he squeaked in happiness, the Ralts’ joy only intensifying as the two continued to laugh and play. I couldn’t help but smile as I watched them; they were getting along so well that I felt stupid for ever having lied about, well, everything!
“Oh—shoot!” Harrison abruptly stopped playing and sat Junior back down on the bed. “It’s so nice to see you again dude!” he said as Junior playfully whined, his tiny white arms reaching for Harrison in hopes that they’d play again. “How’ve you been?” He reached his fist out toward me.
“Hanging in there, I guess. It’s nice to see you too,” I bumped it in return. “How was the welcome?”
“Oh, it was sweet!” he exclaimed. “It looked a bit rushed, but the square was all decked out with streamers n’ everyone was bangin’ pots and pans; I was so surprised! Although I had to put Byte back in his ball cause he kept shocking people by accident…” He shrugged in embarrassment, “I’ve been tryin’ to get him to chill out when he sees people he hasn’t seen in a while, but nothing works!”
“Well, he is your Pokémon after all,” I teased; it wasn’t very surprising that Byte didn’t know the meaning of personal space.
“H-hey!” Harrison spread his arms in protest. “I’ve been tryin’ alright?! We were cramped up in Castelia forever! The poor guy’s got loads of pent-up energy that he’s been dying to spend…” He sat down to my right and stretched his arms, “Man, I’m so sore…”
Rhys! Junior called out to my mind and energetically hopped on my lap. Playful! Happy!
“You’re all riled up now?” I sighed. If only I could take him outside so he could play around in the yard, although I wasn’t too sure how I felt about giving him free roam; our backyard was right on the edge of another swath of forest, and if our last escapade taught me anything, it was that nowhere was safe out there. Junior would have to get a lot stronger before I felt truly comfortable with that. “But then… how else am I gonna train him?”
Harrison let out a gigantic, almost comically loud yawn and fell backward onto the mattress. “Ouuugghhh so tired, so tired…” Silence permeated throughout the room for a few moments as I sat and played with Junior’s arms while his excitement continued to echo in my mind.
“Oh—hey, uh,” Harrison said while stretching. “So like, how didja even find a Ralts again? Don’t they always hide from people?”
“W-well, I still don’t think ‘find’ is a good word to describe how I found him,” I said, timidness coating my voice. “I was actually trying to catch that Caterpie I lied about and I uh, kinda failed miserably…” I zoned in on Junior for a brief moment to try and ignore the embarrassment welling up in my throat, focusing on his steady joy to combat mine while I lightly moved his arms up and down. “I was wallowing in guilt and it’s like he just… called out to my mind all of a sudden. Then I felt compelled to help and found him being attacked by a ton of Poochyena! After that, it’s all kind of a blur…”
“Woah!” Harrison sat up and planted his arms at his sides. “So wait, you didn’t actually capture him or anything?”
“U-uh, no, not really…” my face flushed red. How lame.
“Wait, that’s way cooler than choosing a starter!” he beamed. “It’s like it chose you instead of you choosing it—wait,” his expression turned inquisitive. “Did you say it’s a boy?”
“Yeah…? He’s a boy,” I replied, curious as to how he didn’t realize earlier. I looked back down at Junior; his big red eyes were staring right into mine. Ha-ppy Ha-ppy!
“Aw yeah!” Harrison exclaimed, shuffling over and meeting Junior at eye level. He extended a fist and put on what he’d probably considered a “cool” expression. “‘Sup, bro?”
Amused! Junior cried happily and reached out to touch his palm. I felt the urge to cringe out of bashfulness. “That’s so adorable…!”
“His name’s also Rhys, by the way,” I stammered. “Or Junior for short. I know I said I hadn’t named him yet, but I—he—picked it out earlier this morning.”
“Rhys Jr., huh…” Harrison smiled. “Not personally what I would’ve chosen if it were me, but hey,” — he raised his hands in a playfully teasing manner — “I respect it!”
“Hey!” I placed a hand between Junior’s horns and laughed. “Be nice! He wanted it!” I ruffled his hair affectionately and sent him a few lighthearted thoughts just to make sure he knew we were joking. He quickly picked up on them and smiled. Amused… Happy!
“So what’re your plans then? Like what are you gonna do now?”
“Plans?” I hadn’t really gathered all my thoughts yet; so many different ideas had passed through my mind in the past day that for once I wasn’t sure what came next. I’d been prepping for this reality all my life, why’d I suddenly feel so unprepared?
“Yeah! Like, are you gonna challenge a league, join a battle circuit, or just adventure around,” Harrison went on and on, enthusiastically listing off options as I remained deep in thought. “I want to train Junior, but I don’t want to get him hurt again! But… he has to battle to get stronger! I know he’s capable, but what if I can’t help him control his abilities? What if—“
Calm… Calm!!
Junior lightly slapped my chest; he glared at me with a gentle annoyance that signaled he was growing weary of having to save my thoughts from derailing into overwhelming self-pity.
“Sorry! Sorry,” I assured Junior with a gentle pat on the head then turned back to Harrison. “I’m honestly not too sure yet… Junior’s got a ways to go before he can even think about battling. Plus, y’know, I can’t really walk right now.”
“I getcha man—wait—was that you guys speaking telepathically again?!” Harrison replied with stars in his eyes. “Can I try?”
“Uh, sure?” I shrugged with uncertainty. “It’s not really something I can explain how to do though—“
“Don’t worry,” Harrison rubbed his hands together and held them up to his face, taking a deep breath of concentration. “I got this.” He tightened his face, grimacing while grunting like he was really trying hard to project his thoughts. Out of curiosity, and sensing that this was the perfect opportunity to learn more about Junior’s telepathy, I sent a thought of my own: “Can you hear him?”
Junior looked up at me and shook his head. Confusion… The feeling was laced with dismay, like he’d expected more from himself, yet couldn’t seem to figure out what was going wrong.
“But you can feel his emotions, right?” My analytical mind whirred. Junior couldn’t be sensing nothing; he’d obviously picked up on Harrison’s infectious joy, so maybe my mind was somehow more in-tune with his? “And my thoughts sound fine too? Crystal clear?”
Junior nodded twice. Certainty. Maybe he just needed a bit of an extra push; he’d given plenty to me, and it was only fair that I do the same.
“I bet you can get through to him,” I thought positively and smiled. “If you got through to my mind, you can totally get through to his!”
Confidence… Junior nodded in appreciation. I felt his feelings shift as he focused harder; determination slowly transitioned into nervousness as his eyes clamped shut and his horns glowed. Slowly, steadily, that confidence waned, a frustrated cry escaping his mouth as the glow suddenly sputtered out.
Sadness!! Junior’s expression turned pouty as he put his hands over his face. I grimaced at the wave of grief, faint pressure in my nostrils slowly building as Junior leaned his head against my chest in defeat. I wiped my nose in advance, sensing the undertones of his sadness while I rubbed a few droplets of blood on my shorts; the feeling was soul-crushing, like if you’d worked your butt off to pass an exam just to barely fail.
I pondered the implications of Junior’s struggles for a moment; maybe the issue lay in exposure? Even though we’d only met yesterday, Junior and I had been constantly in mental contact, which probably made me a lot easier for him to connect to. But if that were the case, how did I receive that first call for help in the woods? Why were we able to instantly link without seemingly any trouble?
“Hey… is it working…?” Harrison groaned, his eyes still shut, his face still tensely flushed. “I don’t hear anything…!”
“I don’t think it’s worth giving yourself a headache dude!” I nervously replied. “He’s having a hard time getting through to you anyway.” I kept rubbing Junior’s head as he whimpered. “It’s alright buddy… you did your best…”
Harrison unclenched his face and exhaled forcefully, then propped himself up onto his knees. “Mannn,” he groaned, rubbing his eyes. “They make it look so easy in the movies too…”
“You do know that’s all acting, right?” I snickered at his disappointment. Sometimes it was hard to tell if he was actually being serious!
“W-well duh!” he looked away as his face turned red and put his arms on his hips. “I totally didn’t think Psy Fighters 2 was real or anything. Not me, nope!”
Dishonesty… Humorous… Junior perked up a bit as we jested, but his feelings were still laced with strong embarrassment. Unease began to well up within me; as much as I wanted to keep uncovering all the intricacies of his powers, I didn’t want my partner to feel inadequate after having done so many amazing things already. He needed a distraction, but not something boring like me reading off Pokémon facts or awkwardly playing with his arms some more. He needed something fun.
“Hey, uh, can Byte come out?”
Harrison turned back around and gave me a look of slight confusion. “Yeah—I mean, you sure about that?” He put a hand on his belt and fiddled slightly with a sloppily-painted orange ball. “He might still be a little hyper, and… y’know how he is…”
I quickly scanned my room for everything electronic. “My lamp and alarm should be fine… although I’m not sure I want to risk him shorting my computer out!” I quickly shook off my uncertainty; “Honestly, who cares?”
“It’ll be fine,” I replied and looked down at Junior. “Besides, I think Junior would love a new friend!”
Confusion…? Junior’s emotions stirred as his eyes met mine. Friendly? Sincerity?
“Don’t worry,” I thought, affirming Junior’s impressions of my emotions, “Byte’s Harrison’s starter. He can be a little wild, but he’s a sweetheart. I think you’ll like him.”
Junior paused for a moment, then timidly nodded. Trust…
“Alrighty!” Harrison stood up and enthused, grabbing the ball from his belt and enlarging it. “Byte, c’mon out!” He pressed the button and gently tossed it. A startling flash of white light lit up the room as a figure shot out of the now open ball; slowly, the abstrusity took the form of Raichu, the glow fading as Byte fully came into view. The electric mouse shook his head as if he were dizzy, quickly straightening his bearings and curiously looking around the room.
“H-hi Byte!” I waved nervously. He was a Pikachu the last time I saw him, and judging by how hyper he looked over the phone, I was a tiny bit afraid he’d shock me out of excitement.
“Chuuuuuu!!” Byte smiled and ran over to my legs, making small happy noises as he nuzzled my one good knee. Tiny sparks tickled my skin as his fur rubbed it while I struggled to hold in my laughter.
“Byte! Be careful!” Harrison fretfully said. “Watch the leg!”
“It’s—snort—n-nice to s-see you too, buddy!” I squirmed as Byte continued to show his affection.
Intimidated!! Junior backed himself up against my chest, squeaking in fear at the sight of the large rodent twice his size. I took his hand in mine and tried my best to concentrate. “He means well, don’t worry!”
I felt Junior’s breathing slow. Faith… Trust… He slowly inched toward Byte, who’d now noticed the foreign Pokémon standing on my lap.
“Chu?” Byte squeaked, giving Junior a look of curiosity as he gently sniffed the air in front of him.
Junior gently waved and timidly squeaked back. I could feel how nervous he still was, but there was newfound confidence underlying it. As shy as he was, he was making an honest effort to break out of his comfort zone, and I felt a sense of pride because of that.
“Chu! Chu-chu!” Byte beamed, expressing his hospitality with raised arms. He extended a cheek toward Junior, most likely hoping the Ralts would return the nuzzle. Junior cautiously reached a hand toward Byte’s face; a soft spark emitted from Byte’s cheek as Junior slightly jolted in surprise, then quickly calmed down.
Friendly… Happy… Junior’s fear slowly melted into joy, realizing that Byte’s stature didn’t mean he was dangerous. Byte yipped as Junior gently rubbed his cheek, the latter crying happily in return.
“Ohmygod this is too cute,” Harrison put an arm to his forehead in jest. “I think I might just drop dead! Oh… oh I think I’m going…!”
“Dude, stop,” I laughed, the feelings of joy Junior was emitting mixing with the comfort I felt. Everything felt so right; the reunion had gone so much better than I’d expected and my worries were nowhere to be felt. I closed my eyes and soaked it all in. “Can this feeling last forever?”
BZZT! Vibrations against my thigh startled me out of my peace. “Apparently not.”
“Uh—one second,” I informed Harrison as I slid my phone out of my pocket.
“No need to be all polite dude!” he replied. “Unless… is there a special someone texting you?” He snickered as if he’d told the funniest joke ever and I shot him a disapproving glare in return.
“Real original, man,” I side-eyed him and switched the phone on. “You know how I feel about that stuff!”
“I’m k—d—ng—!”
Harrison had said something, but my hearing had suddenly fogged up; I stared blankly at the notification on my phone screen as my heart pounded frantically, violently out of my heavy chest.
“Uh—Y—u—kay? H—llo?”
You’re not ready.
“E—rth—t—R—ys?”
You thought you were, but you aren’t.
Are you going to run?
“DUDE!”
A hand waved in front of my face. I jolted upright, yelping in surprise as I slowly regained my senses, gripping my bedsheets to stop myself from starting to fall forward.
“Whuh… w-what’s up?” my voice cracked. I cleared my throat and rubbed a hand through my hair. “Something wrong?”
“Uh, I don’t know if you noticed,” Harrison crossed his arms concernedly. “But you kinda froze up for a moment there. You totally almost fell on top of Junior and Byte too!”
Rhys! With a short breath, I darted my gaze toward Junior who’d now wrapped his arms around one of mine. Anxious? Okay? Byte was looking at me too, his head tilted sideways in concern. “Chu?”
“Dyeuhh—I, uh,” I stammered, trying to salvage the prior moment’s peace as best I could. “I’m still a little sleepy, I guess?” I forced a laugh to try and lighten the mood, but nobody bought it, each of their stares piercing through me like knives.
Dishonest! Junior scolded me and gripped my arm tighter. You can’t hide things from him. He can tell what you aren’t. I glared at him fearfully, my head and hands perspiring as I struggled to come up with an excuse. Stop letting him in. My mind tensed, actively trying to hide my oncoming fear from the empath’s omniscient senses.
“Alright,” Harrison plopped back down next to me, causing my mattress to bob up and down momentarily. “I gotta know what’s really up with you.” He lightly bumped my shoulder with his fist. “What’s makin’ you freeze up all the time? C’mon! Spill it!”
“I said I was just a little sleepy…” my voice trailed off. My chest felt like it’d been torched; the sensation was beyond anything I’d experienced in recent memory and it was only growing worse. I tried to suppress the shaking of my limbs, but each iota of calm I tried to conjure was consumed by abject terror. My mind was melting. I couldn’t stop it. Are you going to run?
“Uh—no, that’s bull,” Harrison asserted. “Last time you said you were feelin’ sick,” — he started counting each of my transgressions on one hand — “then you had a whole breakdown over the phone, now you randomly start looking scared cuz you’re tired?” He started drawing lines in the air with a finger like he was connecting dots on an evidence board. “None of that adds up!”
I planted a hand to my side; it was trembling so violently that my phone slid out from between my fingers and onto the floor, startling both Junior and Byte as it hit the hardwood with a loud thunk!
“S-sorry,” I quivered. “I think I’m—I think I’m just—“ I wiped the sweat from my forehead and cleared my tightening throat. Everything felt so, so terrible. My muscles felt atrophied as I fought to keep my body upright, hastily pumping my lungs full of air and desperately trying to gather my spiraling thoughts. “Why is this—what’s—what’s happening?”
Why are you so afraid?
I momentarily choked on a wad of spit and then gulped it down. Absolute panic roared into my brain like a train. Harrison grabbed my shoulder and shook it; he looked absolutely terrified. I wanted to give him a smile of reassurance, but my jaw felt limp as a rag. His petrified gaze met mine as he shook me again, gesturing down at Byte to help, yet I still couldn’t respond.
Why does he make you fear?
Rhys!! Junior’s shrill voice broke through for a moment as he crawled up my chest. I could feel his presence prying into my mind, gentle yet desperate emotions vying with the evil voice in my head. Calm! Happy! I sprawled flat onto my back and stared up at the ceiling fan, tracking an auburn wooden arm while it spun slowly, hypnotically, counting my strained breaths with each revolution. “One… Two… Three… Four…”
Junior’s presence intensified; my efforts to calm myself were slowly bearing fruit, his emotions slowly overtaking my panic while my breathing steadied. I closed my eyes and let the calm soak in. I was okay. I was going to be okay.
“Hey… hey!! Are you okay man?!”
“Chu?!”
“Hahhh!” I exhaled and jolted upright, clutching my chest as the last bits of fear within me faded; Junior stumbled backward then tightly held onto my shirt, having nearly been thrown off my lap as a result. He snuggled his face into my chest and cried happily. Thankful… Safe…
“No, seriously,” Harrison scooted back toward me and carefully raised his hands in concern. “What is happening to you lately?! And what was with that—glowy horn thing Junior was doing?!”
I took a deep breath. I couldn’t lie anymore. What good did it do to hide my reality?
“Do you… remember back when I got tied up by that Caterpie when we were kids?”
“Y—yeah? What about it?” He crossed his legs, gesturing for Byte to hop up and join him at his side. The Raichu clumsily climbed up onto the bed, plopping down between his trainer’s legs while he rested his arms on its head.
“And—” I lightly coughed. “Remember how I kinda started being way too cautious around Pokémon after?” I fiddled with my fingers anxiously. Junior went to work again. Calm…
Harrison wracked his mind for a moment, then snapped his fingers. “Yeah, actually. I do! You could barely hold one without looking all weirded out. I always thought it was some sensory-touchy-feely thing you had going on…” His voice lowered as he went back into thought; if Junior was able to tell me what he was thinking, I’d totally have asked.
“The thing is, I think I’ve always been like… this,” I put a hand on my forehead and slumped. “Whenever something—anything happens to me, it’s like my mind tries to process every single one of the infinite ways that things could somehow go wrong.” I looked back over at Harrison, my eyes glistening with tears. “And I just don’t know why. I’ve never known why, and when I don’t know something, you know what I always do…”
“… You throw yourself into it,” he sighed. “You always wanna figure out how things work…”
“Bingo…” I sniffed, squeezing Junior close. “It’s been happening all my life and I’ve never felt comfortable admitting it because I just can’t explain why. Not to you, or Mom, or anyone.” Tears silently streamed down my cheeks, yet I couldn’t find it in myself to weep.
“I—uh,” Harrison reached out toward me, then hesitated. “I’m sorry I didn’t, y’know, understand there was somethin’ wrong sooner.”
“Chu…” Byte chimed in melancholically.
“No,” I rubbed my eyes and cleared my throat. “How could you’ve?” I nervously laughed. “I always tried to hide it,” my voice trailed off. “… And maybe I did too good of a job.” I sighed and looked down at Junior; he was slightly trembling, a look of pure sympathy plastered on his cute little face. “Besides, I really can’t do that anymore. Not with this lil guy around.” I blinked the remaining tears out of my eyes and smiled, lifting the Ralts to eye level. “Thank you, Junior. I’m sorry I made you work so hard… again.”
Love… Appreciation… Happiness! Junior reached out and stuck his hands in my face trying to hug it, nearly poking my eyes by accident.
“Junior!” I kindly scolded, pulling him off my face. We both giggled for a moment; I couldn’t stay mad at him, not even if I tried.
“Here,” Harrison motioned Byte to the side and got off the bed. He bent over and quickly picked up my phone. “You dropped this,” he said, handing it back to me after I’d set Junior back on my lap. “Hopefully it didn’t crack or anything… you don’t have any of that battle cash, haha!”
“Thanks dude,” I chortled as I briefly inspected the phone and set it on the bed to my left. “But are you sure you have any? Didn’t you starve yourself paying for that hotel room?”
“It was a necessary sacrifice!” Harrison replied with conviction. Byte rubbed his stomach and cried; looks like someone didn’t quite agree.
“Hey, y’know,” Harrison sat back down next to me. “If you ever need someone to talk to, you know I’m here for ya, right?”
I stared at his face for a moment, thinking about all the times he’d randomly texted or called just to check in and I’d ignored him. I didn’t mean any harm; hell, more often than not I wanted to reciprocate his fun-loving positivity. But I always felt a sense of guilt, a burning sensation of failing to live up to the dream we’d both shared since we were little, and that made me shy away from the one person who’d always had my back.
I took a long, deep breath, then silently nodded and smiled.
“Man, I wish we could get you outside for some fresh air or somethin’,” Harrison leaned back on my pillow, breaking the tension as if nothing had happened. “How long are you in that splint again? A month?”
“Just a couple weeks max, hopefully,” I smiled, silently noting the slight difference in feeling Junior’s joy had as it gently washed over me. For some reason, I could tell that it wasn’t his. The sensation was subtle, yet distinctly foreign compared to his emotions alone, and it felt aware. It was like the joy was being felt in response to a release of tension, sort of like the feeling you’d get when you finally resolve a weeks-long conflict. “Is someone… close?” I wondered. “Why doesn’t this feel like Junior’s…”
I took a moment to look back at the phone screen I’d kept ignoring; the notification still lingered, taunting me like a dark type in the shadows tormenting you with its presence. I steeled my resolve and shut it off. I’d handle it later. Even if confrontation, something I was horrible at dealing with, was going to have to occur, I knew this time I couldn’t run away. But, what mattered most was enjoying this moment, right here, right now, not fearing the future.
Knock knock!
Happy!
“Uh—come in!” I shouted. “Wait… were those feelings—”
The door gently opened. Mom tiptoed into the room, nearly tripping over Harrison’s backpack and quickly apologizing. Harrison waved it off, whispering to her that it was no big deal.
“Oh, hi Mom,” I said, silently hoping my face wasn’t beat red from crying. “What’s up?”
“Just wanted to check in on you two,” she replied, setting the backpack near my dresser. “Everything alright? I thought I heard some commotion a minute ago.”
“Oh it’s all good Mrs. Emerson,” Harrison stretched out his back with a lengthy groan and sat up. “We were just talking about uhhhhhh—“ He looked over at me nervously as if he wasn’t sure he should say more. I gave him a timid nod of approval; deep in my mind, I had a feeling keeping our little moment a secret probably didn’t matter.
“—feelings n’ stuff! And how cool it is that Rhys is finally a trainer!” Harrison looked back at my mom and nudged my shoulder with his elbow. “Good job dude,” I thought, shooting him an embarrassed glance. It’s not like I could’ve explained it any better anyway.
Happy! Junior hopped up and down in delight, waving his arms at Mom.
“Hi there Junior,” she smiled and waved back. “And hello to you too, Byte!” The Raichu zipped over to her side in nearly an instant. She kneeled and petted his chin as he wagged his tail, sparking as he cried happily.
“You’re so big now!” Mom grit her teeth as she ruffled the fur on his head. She looked back up at Harrison with a look of curiosity. “How’d you get your hands on a stone already?”
“Oh, y’know,” meekness washed over Harrison’s face as he slapped a hand to his neck. “I have my ways!” I shot him a look of bewilderment as the dots connected in my head. “He DIDN’T…”
“Dude,” I hissed under my breath. “Did you splurge on a stone instead of buying fucking food?!” I knew I wasn’t exempt from making stupid decisions lately, but neglecting your health because of a stone was egregious!
“It was so cheap though!” he whispered back. “The guy at the stand said it was the last one! You know how hard they are to come by?!”
“You—“ I scrunched my forehead in disbelief. “You’re crazy man…” I couldn’t help but laugh; at least I wasn’t the only one guilty of acting on dumb impulses.
Junior looked at me with curiosity. Happy? Confusion? His emotions anxiously probed me for answers.
“I think it’s funny that he’s a doofus,” I elaborated mentally. It was interesting how despite Junior’s sensitivity to emotions, not everything made complete sense to him. In a weird way, knowing that brought me comfort. I’d always felt I needed to know everything fast once I got my starter, but Junior’s constant inquiries and uncertainty about his own powers had steadily made me realize that he really was just a kid like me; a smart kid, but a bit of a clueless one too.
Mom finished petting Byte and shook her hands. “Really need some rubber gloves for you,” she muttered as the Raichu’s cheeks glistened with electricity. “Anyways,” she stood up and looked at Harrison. “It’s great to see him doing so well after all your battles! To think it’s just been you two this whole time…” She paused, clasping her hands above her chest. “What an amazing story!” My thoughts churned a bit hearing her praise. It was amazing how effortlessly the two took down the triplets of Straiton and Lenora of Nacrene with just Byte alone, type advantages be damned. I couldn’t even fathom when, or even if Junior would ever be capable of soloing multiple different type experts!
“Ehehe,” Harrison chuckled meekly and rubbed his hair. “It’s really no biggie. We’ve been hard at work since we left—OOF!” Byte jumped back onto his lap, winding him briefly. “And we’ve taken our fair share of hits, too…” he winced, his voice hoarse from absorbing the impact.
“Well I’m glad you came back for a rest,” Mom smiled. “You shouldn’t push yourselves too hard! You’ve given your folks and I enough heart attacks over the years.” She turned back toward Junior and me and seemed to size us up for a moment; I could’ve sworn I saw a tinge of concern in her eyes. Junior seemed to get a similar impression, sinking a bit deeper into my lap while his emotions faintly swirled in the background of my consciousness.
“Sorry about his leg, by the way,” Mom crossed her arms and leaned against the door frame. “It’d be great if you could get Rhys out of the house for a change,” she said and shot me a mischievous smile.
“M-Mom!” I yelled. Junior patted my arm in an attempt to comfort me, which I appreciated.
Mom looked back at Harrison. “Sorry this… might be a little sudden,” her expression sullied a bit. “But do you mind if Rhys and I talk for a moment in private?” My heart dropped. “Why now?!”
“Oh! Sure!” Harrison sputtered, quickly nudging Byte off his lap and following him off the bed. He picked up his backpack and stuffed the few items poking out from a half-zipped pocket back inside. “Can I go take Byte out in the yard?” he asked as he threw the bag over his shoulder. “He’s been rarin’ to run around!”
“Mhm!” Mom nodded.
Harrison flashed her a thumbs-up and smirked. “C’mon buddy,” he gestured for Byte to follow him. “Wanna go run around?”
“Chuuuu!” the Raichu squealed, darting out the door with Harrison running close behind. “Heeeey!” the latter’s voice echoed up the stairwell as they thumped downstairs. “Wait up!”
Mom gently closed the door behind her. She let out a tired sigh, followed by a look of concern. I stared at her stoically, trying my absolute hardest to keep my emotions in check to avoid yet another potential breakdown. I couldn’t put Junior through another; his concern had already started bleeding into my skull and I feared intensifying the strain I’d been putting on his mind. I gently ruffled his hair to comfort him in silent assurance. “I promise I’ll be okay.”
“So,” Mom sat down next to me and paused. She took a deep breath, then continued. “I just got off the phone with your father a little while ago.”
My throat clamped shut. I ran a hand through my hair and thought positively; “You’re gonna be fine! He’s not right in front of you! There’s nothing to fear!”
“Last night I let him know about your incident in the forest,” she put a hand on my back and gently massaged it, hesitating to speak for another moment. “And… that you’d befriended a Pokémon.”
I avoided eye contact and put my arms around Junior; he squeaked in surprise as I squeezed him against me. “What—” I gulped. “What did he say?”
“He sounded happy. Elated, in fact. Said he couldn’t be prouder of you for being so brave, although he wishes you’d’ve been more careful.”
“Sounds about right…” my shoulders slumped a bit forward as I muttered. “Anything else?”
“Well—he asked what kind of Pokémon you’d saved, and naturally I told him,” she softly replied. “I figured since he studies Junior’s type for a living, it’d be a great chance for you two to bond again.”
“What’re you implying?” I muttered, finally mustering up the courage to look her in the eyes. I had an idea of what was coming, but I knew that assumptions wouldn’t quell the fire that ceaselessly scorched my core.
Fear…? Concern! Happy! Happy!! I rubbed Junior’s head as he squirmed. “I’m gonna be okay buddy. You don’t have to fix me every time, I promise!” The air stood still for a moment, the only sounds being the chirping of the morning birds and the faint echoes of tomfoolery from the yard.
“I just think you two should reconnect,” Mom sighed and looked at the floor. “I know it’s been an awfully long time since he’s been home, and I know he misses hearing from you. Being a trainer can be hard, and I’ve seen how you’ve struggled with the thought of being a good one. I think Dad can—“
“Then maybe he should’ve tried harder,” I bluntly replied. That asshole.
“Honey…” she replied sympathetically. “He’s an impossibly busy man! He thinks about you and me a lot, even if he can’t be here often.” Her face became flushed with pensiveness. “Please don’t think—“
“So you’re telling me he couldn’t have taken even a minute to earnestly reply to any of my texts over the past year?” I acridly spoke. All my tolerance from earlier in the day had vanished in an instant as a repressed rage rose from within me. “I’ve tried, Mom. Whenever he does give me the time of day, it’s always some sterile, soulless reply that makes it clear he’d rather keep probing Pokémon brains than being an actual father.”
Anger… S-Scared… I felt Junior tremor, but I couldn’t hold back my feelings; it felt too cathartic to finally let loose.
Mom stared at me solemnly in acceptance as if she understood my frustrations, yet was being torn apart on the inside. She removed her hand from my back, placed both on her lap, and then looked off into the distance.
“Rhys, I know your father can be a little… reclusive. But, I promise you he cares.” Her gaze slowly met mine. “After I told him about Junior, it’s like he became that sprightly little kid again.” Her eyes wandered for a moment, then found their way back to mine. She placed a hand on my scrunched-up shoulder. “He told me he wants to help you be the best trainer you can possibly be, and I know in my heart that he means that, even if he has an awkward way of showing it.”
“But… how—” I let go of Junior and gripped my sheets, “how do you know this isn’t some—some ploy to use Junior and I like lab rats?” I looked at Mom fearfully. “I just—I just don’t feel comfortable—I don’t feel like I can trust him at all! He’s always acted so… distant from me, and now all of a sudden he wants to reconnect like I hadn’t tried at all? I just don’t understand why he’s like this!” I clutched my head and stifled my hastening breaths. Why was everything and everyone so damn confusing?!
“Because if I can be certain of anything about your father, it’s that everything he does is for us,” she replied with determination. “That’s why he moved us out here all those years ago. All the prying eyes, all the scrutiny, all of those unreasonable expectations; he bears the brunt of all of it so that at least his family can live in peace.” She choked up for a moment, then continued: “Sometimes he calls me in the middle of the night and breaks down. He talks about how arduous making any headway is in his field and how it tortures him to think that if he can’t be the one to figure everything out first, then somehow, some way, some bad actor might.” Her thoughts were spoken with such conviction that they sent shivers down my spine.
Mom’s hand squirmed in tension for a moment before her chin settled on her flattened palm. “I’ve heard him say time and time again that ‘psychics are untapped wells of power’ and that he has this irrational, impossible fear that somehow the awareness he’s spread within his niche area of study is going to come back to bite him. I don’t know what he means by that.” She looked at me earnestly with trembling lips. “He treats his passion like a means to an end now, and that guts me.”
Sincere… Junior gripped my shirt, his feelings verifying my mom’s. I sat in silence, taking in all that she’d said while my rage converted into a solemn understanding.
“Listen,” Mom put her hand beside mine. “I’ll be a hundred percent honest; I heard what you said to Harrison, and you sounded a lot like Dad.”
“I—“ I briefly sputtered in response to the confirmation that I’d been right, but silence was all that crept out of my throat.
“You both think you can outsmart your feelings by burying your heads in books,” she tapped her temple. “But all you’re doing is letting them pool up here until the dam cracks. You both need to just talk about things for once in your lives instead of bottling them up!”
My head felt numb. All his silence and stoicism; was Dad just as lost as me?
“I… apologize for that,” Mom stood up and walked toward the door. She gathered herself for a moment, fidgeting with the door handle before opening it.
“He said he’d text you sometime today,” she said calmly. “I know you can’t just let go of how you feel in an instant, but please give him a chance—just this once. I think this is the first time in a long time that he’s truly felt that spark.” She gave me one last slight look of sorrow, then cracked a shaky smile. “And I’m sorry for snooping. I know you needed a moment with your friend, but I just couldn’t—I couldn’t bear hearing you cry alone anymore. Love you.”
KaTHUNK!
The door shut; its sound reverberated in my ears like a gong. An eerie ambiance filled the void it left as I slid into silence.
Rhys…?
Unclear… Okay…?
“Heeeeeey! Byyyyyyte! Don’t run all the way out there! You’re gonna get lost!”
I blinked. My senses slowly faded back in; hearing first, eyesight second. My shoulders were wracked with tension; my injured leg still laid stiff off the bed; pain radiated up my knee with the fury of an Ariados bite with each small movement. Everything was still the same. It was all painfully the same.
A desire I thought I’d lost emerged in my gut; it started subtle, yet grew painfully strong as the weight of my mundane, dreary lifestyle finally began to bear down on my mind. I didn’t want to stay in my room forever! I wanted this dumb, stupid, idiotic, imbecilic cycle of panic and fear to finally get lost! I needed to throw all my irrational caution to the wind and chase that seemingly unattainable high of finally feeling worthy of a future! My chains needed to break, I needed… I needed—
Liberation… Excitement…
I snapped out of thought and met Junior’s gaze. That’s exactly what I needed. “But,” I felt his presence lurch, “what is he—“
Rhys… That strange cacophony of his began to coalesce, each chaotic fragment of sound fading together to finally find their form. My eyes widened at the sight of his horn gently beginning to glow.
Want… The sound of a gently spoken word reverberating through my skull nearly threw my mind into disbelief.
Want… Rhys… Happy…!
Junior gasped, the glow in his horn fading while he plopped onto my lap exhaustedly, gently huffing. He looked up at me and pointed toward the window. Desire. Excitement!
“I—oh… oh my God!” I gasped and lifted Junior up in the air. “You—you did it! You spoke!” He happily squeaked, smiling and flapping his arms jovially as he sent me boatloads of happiness.
“And—“ I stared into his eyes. His gaze felt welcoming, eyes glistening in anticipation as if he knew exactly what I was going to ask. “You… you really want to battle? B-but,” I thought back to Junior’s crisis; his beaten and battered body pinned up against that tree and his weak, anguished cries for help. “Are you positive?”
Junior nodded profusely, his horn flickering to life again. Rhys… Want!! His adamance in his voice made it staunchly clear; he wasn’t trying to soothe my worries by telling me what I wanted to hear. This was clear-cut, honest determination.
Deep breath in… deep breath out.
“Okay.” I brought Junior down and rubbed my face. “Ooookay, we’re doing this. We are do-ing this!” I psyched myself up, inviting Junior to pick up on my energy with a stream of motivational thoughts while I bobbed up and down. “We’re gonna get outta here and train! No more wallowing in shame!”
A sharp pain. I grabbed my leg and hissed; “Ahhhh…”
“Hey, Junior,” I asked as he worriedly darted his head between my face and splint. “Do you mind floating that orange pill bottle—the one on the left—over here? And that water bottle too, actually?” I tapped my temple and then gestured towards the items on my nightstand.
“Shoot… what if he’s still kinda in pain too? I know he looks alright, but—“ Junior had already acknowledged my request and had started his focus; the bottles had already begun to gently float.
“Oh—and the red one too! Sorry,” I interrupted, causing the bottle’s altitude to ever so slightly dip as Junior broke his concentration. He nodded and refocused, grabbing all three bottles with his mind and sloppily, but gently, set them next to us. I quickly unscrewed mine and placed a pill in my mouth, taking a big swig of water and choking it down. “Ack!” I coughed. I still wasn’t used to this!
“Alright Junior, I’m gonna give you one of these just in case, okay?” I shook the red bottle in front of him and was surprised at the muted rattling that it emitted. “Didn’t Nurse Joy say these were pills?”
I popped the bottle open. “Gummies?!”
“Aw—whaaaaat?!” I groaned in surprise. “How come you get gummies?!” I took one out and playfully squished it a bit. It made sense though; Pokémon were already hard enough to train, imagine trying to get one to properly swallow a pill!
I handed the gummy to Junior and he quickly chomped it down, murmuring in delight. I took a look at the spot on his face where his bandage used to be; the bruise had almost fully muted as if by magic. The speed at which he’d recovered and begun to harness his powers was so… well, cool! My curiosity began to spark. “I bet Dad might have some insight…”
“…Dad!”
I grabbed my phone off the bed and shook it on. The notification was still front and center.
2 unread messages from Dad.
“Don’t be scared. Remember what Mom said!”
I tapped my screen; a flash of white. The text faded in.
“I do. Are you curious about the species in general, or about a more specific aspect? There are plenty of encyclopedias online that can provide you with basic information, including the official Pokédex entry. I’ll link its variants here for you. They each provide simple and satisfactory insights: https://pokedex.org/hoenn/029 https://pokedex.org/sinnoh/157
Let me know if these don’t satisfy your curiosity. I’m aware of your continued aspirations and hope this can be of assistance to your studies. Hope you’re doing well yourself, Rhys.”
“Rhys, Mom let me know about what happened. Please give me a call if you’re able. I can help.”